Castiel and the Happy Meal
by JeffersonStarship
Summary: What happens when Dean and Sam take Castiel into a McDonalds? This mad one shot aims to find out, with the help of a man named Robert ...


_**AUTHOR'S NOTE**_ - I have another one shot that I wrote just today whilst having a slow moment. I hope you like the results!!

_**CASTIEL AND THE HAPPY MEAL**_

Everything that happened that day could be blamed entirely on the shoulders of Dean Winchester, or rather his bottomless excuse for a stomach.

If it wasn't for his trapdoor straight into hell excuse for a digestive system, none of them would have to live with the nightmare that soon encompassed all that was Ronald McDonald.

Dean was hungry for pie and doughnuts, a Big Mac and fries, maybe a cheeseburger and a coke, while Sam merely wanted a salad. Castiel merely looked confused by the wide range of fat based foods on offer, tilting his head in confusion at the waitress, who was staring too avidly at the angel's vessel.

"Dude, will you choose already, the suspense is killing me," Dean said, poking Castiel in the stomach.

Both Castiel and Dean were surprised when Dean inadvertently found the vessel's ticklish spot, at which point the elder Winchester filed that info away for a merciless day.

No one got the chance to think further on the ticklish diversion of doom for it was at that point that they were assailed by the demon commonly known to all as Ronald McDonald.

He loomed over them, grinning maniacally with red painted mouth, before saying to Castiel - "Are you having trouble choosing what to eat, young man? Can I help you decide?"

Upon seeing the looming Ronald, Sam screamed like a girl, and ran from the burger joint as fast as his very long legs would take him. Castiel judged his percentages over managing to smite the creepy clown to be very low indeed, plus he didn't like the colour of Ronald's hair, so he cut and ran after Sam. This left Dean looking rather uncomfortable and embarrassed - so, to avoid further embarrassment, he ran as well.

"WAIT! COME BACK! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN ANY OF MY GOODIES!! YOU MUST, YOU MUST, YOU MUST EAT MY GOODIES!" Ronald crowed, before running after them, arms outstretched, too large shoes slapping the sidewalk, as he followed the fleeing Winchesters and angel.

"OH ... OH ... OH .... HE'S COMING!" Castiel wept, as he seriously thought about unleashing his wings and just flying away. "I DON'T LIKE HIM! MAKE HIM GO AWAY!"

"Come BAAAAACK! I have a Happy Meal for you! It's got the latest toy in it - YOU'LL LIKE IT - IT'S FUN! IT'S A LITTLE CUDDLY ANGEL!" Ronald said, almost gaining on the smaller form of Castiel.

"SHUT UP OR I WILL BE FORCED TO SMITE YOU! I AM AN ANGEL OF THE LORD - YOU CANNOT TORTURE ME WITH THIS HAPPY MEAL!" Castiel howled. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ONE IS!"

Suddenly, as though from nowhere, a large ninja samurai warrior lord - known to his friends as Robert - stepped out of a nearby alleyway, carrying a large bottle of whiskey in one hand for no apparent reason. He didn't even like whiskey, as he found it messed with his zen.

Anyways, the warrior lord stepped right in the path of Sam, who crashed into him, almost knocking the unsuspecting man over. Dean crashed into the back of his brother, while Castiel managed to avoid bodily contact with anyone by executing the most flawless double back flip over everyone's heads, shadowy wings outspread and flapping. He landed on both feet, looked down at himself and smirked.

"I think it's Happy Meal time!" Ronald McDonald crowed, jubilantly. "Who's ready for a Happy meal?"

"Not freaking likely!" Dean said, darkly, eying the warrior lord dubiously.

"Oh just take it from him - maybe he will go away if you do!" the warlord surprisingly said.

Sam and Dean exchanged a look before saying - "Alright - give us the damn Happy meals, if it makes you happy!"

Ronald grinned, and handed out three Happy meals, despite the fact that Dean had actually ordered something else, and so had Sam.

Castiel sniffed at the box experimentally, before opening it. He peered inside and drew forth a small cuddly angel, about the size of two Chicken McNuggets placed end to end.

"Look, Cas, it's you!" Dean said, with a smile, before drawing forth his own mini Castiel.

"Why have I got a devil in my Happy Meal?" Sam asked, turning huge puppy dog eyes onto his brother.

"Because you're the boy with the demon blood!" Castiel intoned, making Dean laugh.

"Castiel ... do shut up!" Sam said, before walking away in a huff.

Dean and the Angel Castiel had no choice but to follow him, still talking about their mini angels, leaving the ninja samurai warrior lord called Robert behind, who was still wondering why he held a bottle of whiskey, that he didn't even like ...

THE END.


End file.
